Its Research For My Book, I Swear!!

I mean, how am I supposed to give accurate descriptions of Honoka unless I buy the largest dildo I can find? Also, totally filing this under a business expense.

My tax guy is going to have so many questions.

Two more reviews! Makes me want to break into song:

♫ Life is like Reverse Cowgirl, here in Harvardtown ♫

♫ Futas, big tits, orgasms, its a jizz-bath! ♫

♫ Might eat a pussy ♫

♫ Hope it's not bushy! ♫

♫ Sextales! Woohoo! ♫

♫ Everyday the wives are making ♫

♫ Sextales! Woohoo! ♫

♫ Tales of orgy fun, that rhyme with ♫

♫ Luck-tales! ♫

One of the reviews on Amazon is part of the silent majority, so thanks to whoever you are, but the other is from Dave M. Thanks for liking my book so much and taking the time to tell me. I sometimes feel like Moses and all your reviews are Aaron and Hur holding my arms up: I really can't do this in a vacuum, you are all that keeps me up.

In fact, any time I get any feedback from anyone, my face turns into a Kricfalusi bundle of joy meeting Powdered Toast Man for the first time, or Ren doing something lewdishly lewd.

*drool*

I mentioned before I've put in more comedy this time around, so I thought I'd share a scene from Chapter 6 that gets me laughing every time. It's during Honoka's first date, and it isn't going so well.

The following is a work in progress, Editor-kun hasn't even glanced at it yet, it is subject to change radically in the coming months.

All Honoka could see through her hair was the cleavage that got pushed up by the table as the mummy woman put her elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands. That bit of casual eroticism, whether the other woman was doing it or not, drilled straight into Honoka’s brain and activated all kinds of urgent hormones that demanded something be done immediately. In other words, Honoka’s semi-erect state went full-blown and started contracting hard enough to make Honoka worry about what might happen if she kept sitting there.

Well, what would happen.

What was happening.

“I have to take a Change break!” Honoka announced far too loud, sweating and getting a hitch in her throat that caused her to gasp for air. Stumbling out of the booth and putting her large bag in front of her hard cock tenting her skirt, Honoka got what looked like a surprised and exasperated look from her Undead date before rushing towards the restrooms on the opposite side of the room. She got a few odd looks, but there were enough empathetic Racial looks to go around that Honoka didn’t feel bad rushing into the Change room and locking the door.

What followed is best described by Bruno Erwin, owner and head cook of the Lair’s best fried chicken. As an elephant beastkin, his ears were particularly sharp and even twenty feet away and with two walls between them, there was nothing hidden about Honoka’s experience. So while he would never tell a soul what he heard (especially not about the wife of his favorite former employee), the dirty old man would chuckle to himself whenever he remembered that afternoon emergency and what he heard go on in that restroom.

“Oh fudgesickles, how much bigger did I get?”

“This is…ungh…a lot harder than it used to be.”

“Come on! How much Strength do I need to allocate to point you down?!”

“…almooooost…Ah crap, it sliiiiiiipppOOO!!”

*spurrrt spuuuuurrt*

“Nononono! Go in the toilet, not all over…now the toilet’s overflowing!”

*spuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurt!!*

*glop*

“Gah! How did…great, now I’ve got it in my hair.”

*jangle…janglejanglejangle*

*glurp*

“…where’s the plunger?”

*squick-squeck squick-squeck squick-squeck*

“This isn’t working, its too thick.”

*slllllurrrrrp*

“Dungeon-chan to the rescue! Now I just need to see if I can save this…aaaand water makes the shirt translucent. I might as well be naked at this point.”

When Honoka left the Change restroom, she looked like she had just spent the last fifteen minutes in a war zone. Her hair was slimy, matted and tangled, her pink shirt left nothing to the imagination and clearly showed her white pasties along with everything else, her skirt had lost its safety pin and had to be held up with one hand, and the musk that came out of that room and densely wafted into every corner of the restaurant left absolutely no doubt in anyone’s mind what went on in there. With a loud click to the much quieter eatery, Honoka locked the door from the inside, hoping the time it took to get a key would be enough time to let the dungeon clean up after her mess.

Shuffling awkwardly back to her seat (getting an odd wink from the elephant beastkin frying up another order of chicken), Honoka slumped into her seat and the room of people all got back to minding their own business, the noise in the room returning to normal. Knowing a failed date when it ejaculated into a toilet, Honoka planted her head on the table, lightly banging the laminate wood with her forehead and decided to put it all out there. “I also have a huge penis and an uncontrollable sex drive.”

“Uh-huh,” Julieta echoed non-committal.

...

I'm a little unsure about sharing this with you. I mean, I think this is the funniest scene I've ever written, so now you can all read it and not need to read Book 2 at all. This is it, this is the number one gag. Everything is downhill from here. Paraphrased in the immortal words of Patrick Stewart, by now you've seen everything.

Oh, hey, I got a discussion going about which wife is your favorite over on GoodReads, on the page for Growing Problems. Be sure to fight for your waifu!

Not a lot else going on, Chapter 16 will probably be finished today. More dialogue in there than I thought it was going to have. Chapter 17 is a meet-and-greet for a lot of characters, including wife 10. Chapter 18 is the first time for wife 9 and that's just a bit difficult from a logistical standpoint. Chapter 19 is all kinds of sexy as back-to-back orgies happen when Honoka discovers a new application of her Class Features. I hope to get these all done this week, then next week get into the heavy plot and drama chapters of 20, 21 and especially 22.

Dun dun DUUUUUUUN!!

Anyway, while I'm at work I'm going to be thinking about what to name my new monster dildo. Please leave possible names in the comments or email me.

Keep harmonizing!

#ailovestogrow #ducktalestheme #chapterpreview #bestwaifu